Where to

When I was little, my mum would buy novels for my sister but I’d be the one who’d end up reading them before her . This tale has started because of the first night I kissed my thoughts. That inner voice carrying out the activities my lips has chosen to seal.

One night on my little bed in the room, I was reading this novel and my sister woke up. Her face was painted in so much anger as she yelled above a whisper , “Can’t you read in your Mind?”

For a second I was shocked. Read in your mind?, what does that even mean?

I didn’t think I was reading out that loud in my defence but her face in the dark?? Yup it was scary, but her question caught my attention.

“Read in my mind?” I asked.

it seemed new to me. Call me dumb but the mind? When I heard that word, I couldn’t picture it in my head. It sounded foreign, unknown yet it was calling to me to know more.

And so I probed.

“How do I read in my mind?”

I knew she was getting pissed that I was disturbing her sleep but I wanted to know what she meant, what this new wonder was. I was glad that with all that anger  she answered. 

“In your head. Your mouth doesn’t move. She took a quick pause.

“You talk and read in your head.”

I was still baffled.

My sister has always been smart, She’s such a genius and I adore her so much, I’m glad I learnt a lot from her even though they weren’t learnt with so much care, I loved that about her but it scared me too because asking her things came with a strange look that seemed to translate into ‘The answers are obvious why don’t you know this.”

It’s so refreshing writing about it now, I’m having a nice laugh honestly. These are the things memories do, make or break your mood.

Back to the story.

I held back on any more questions but I was confused. I was so so confused. Lots and lots of questions ran through my head.

‘How do I do that?, How does that happen?, Talking in my mind?, That’s crazy.’

I hadn’t realize I was doing it.

I picked up the book again and this time I paid attention to myself, I continued whispering but as I looked at those words and spoke, I was still hearing myself speak out loud and I knew I wasn’t there yet, I tried for a while and still couldn’t get it and I could hear my sister tossing on her bed. We shared the same room but our parents gave us separate beds, an opportunity to share a space but have separate identities, like roommates.

 I sighed and tried once more. 

I began to feel sad that my attempts were disturbing and I was failing at finding my inner voice but as time went, I realized I had unlocked it. 

I was in my mind! I was READING! Reading in my MIND! Talking to myself, hearing myself. All in a dark empty space. It unreal at that moment.

I continued to read in my mind, and out of that little bubble something new inside of me exploded. It was nice until it wasn’t. Nobody had informed me about the horrors as time goes on.

I had touched another land different from physicality, Lord knows I ran around lost for a long time but somehow I was still in there reaching for more understanding whilst losing my mind but I liked it, the heated battle, the confusion, the tied up chest and then the reLease after I finally let go and opened up to the truth that I had roommates in my head.

Humph!

That Understanding!!!!! 

I kissed it passionately, I stripped bare before it and I allowed it to do all that it pleased within me, all I had to do was skip and hop in the real world because I could understand things for myself, I could create the best, wildest, craziest and most amazing fantasies for myself in my mind and it will always remain a buried secret,

It’s too sexy. 

Now, I’ve started changing things around up there, and I want to see where this leads… where the lightness in my thoughts takes me to and for the pleasures it will bind me to.

-EkelemeN